In the last 4 hours, I have been thrice screwed out of meals. I thought there would be some nice hearty food at the Parkway Youthgroup Reunion, but there wasn't. The desserts were great and all, but it just wasn't what I was looking for. Then a friend had the bright idea to drive to pickering and eat Denny's. The possibility of me getting Denny's (or anything to eat for that matter) made me salivate quite heavily, so I agreed. Denny's was closed. I came home looking on the brightside. I thought at least I would have some chicken burgers in the fridge to eat when I got home. After warming it up in the microwave, cutting my bun meticulously, and excitededly placing my condiments onto the burger, I took a bite. TOFU! To'freakin'fu. Oh, and it doesn't really count, but I also seem to have been screwed out of a percent of my milk. I think I'm drinking 1%.
My life sucks. Yeah, I could be living on the street right now. Yeah, I could be living on less than 1 meal a day. Yeah, I could be without a church to go to and celebrate. And yeah, I could be a little more thankful for the freaking awesome life I'm living. But seriously... TOFU! I seem ungrateful. I should work on that. So should the rest of North America.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
I'm tired.
Gordon Ramsays Kitchen Nightmares isn't on tonight. I've grown a little addicted to the show. The drama is almost too intense, it makes me shiver. Honest to goodness, shiver. Apparently, FOX streams full episodes online, but restricts it's viewing to American's only. I guess I'll actually do a little sleeping tonight.
Monday, April 21, 2008
The cost of being free, can you say irony?
I'm finally free! Oh, how absolutely freakin' awesome it feels to be rid of school-related stress. I feel like a burden has been lifted off of my shoulders. I don't have to carry around a 35-pound bag for the next four months! Obviously, I also mean it in the vernacular sense. So you can take the burden analogy figliterally*. And what a nice day to be free. The sun is shining, the wind is nice and calm, the "JESUS!!!" man at Yonge and Dundas is even wearing a t-shirt with a nice summer vest! How nice.
Now I suppose the phrase "the cost of being free" isn't that ironic, now that I think about it. I guess if you were to only look at the surface structure of the sentence, cost and free seem to conflict. How can something that's free have a cost? The deep structure, however, brings about an obvious and very important realization: nothing is free. I did well on both of my exams (I think. I hope) and I'm now done, but it came with a high cost of stress and a week of shut-in-the-basement studying (for the most part). I was once a prisoner of psychology, but I've busted out man, Shawshank style. As I enjoyed my freedom on the way home, with the wind blowing through my hair and the stench of public transit occasionally wafting my way (which smells like b.o.), I decided to do my devotions.
My devotional book, which is absolutely amazing by the way, drew my attention to the book of Romans. The passage they cited was Romans 4:20-21. It was a nice testament to God's divine promises, and his assurance of their fulfillment, but my attention extended beyond the referenced verse and I continued to read. I had forgotten how free I was. Of course, not as completely free as I once might have thought. I wouldn't have it any other way, though. To be free of absolutely everything would be to be free from God as well; to be free from His divine promise, to be free from His undying love and abounding beauty. While we are free from sin, we are indeed still slaves to righteousness. Free will? Pfft, free will. Who needs it? Nowhere in the bible does it say that I have free will, but if it did, I'm sure I would rather be a slave to righetousness. "the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life." Holiness and eternal life? I get to walk with God for eternity. Sign me up, man... Sign me up.
Oh, the hidden fees of signing up. There's always that fine print. We are not made righteous at no cost. The ultimate price was paid, all for the ungodly, the lowly, the sinners. The impact of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, as if it wasn't strong enough already, is so much bigger when you consider who He died for. The King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Great High Priest, humiliated and seperated from God, all for us. A rough paraphrase from Romans explains that one would probably almost never die for a completely righteous person, and more than likely wouldn't even consider dying for a good person. Jesus died for the least of these. That's pretty huge stuff.
We don't get a free ride, though. Oh no. Complete and utter surrender of our lives to God is our price. And being a christian is by no means a way to make life easier. A while back, I overheard someone saying something along the lines of "she's a christian because it makes her life easier." This is a nice thought, and I only wish it were true. The fact is, christian living is probably one of the hardest things a person can do. Jesus talks alot about the persecution and hate that you will recieve for following him. All these things are pretty big prices to pay, but compared to Jesus Christ, there is no greater sacrifice. So I am gladly persecuted and hated on, I gladly surrender my entire life to God, and desire to do it each and every day that I live. I only wish I had the courage to do it so often. Indeed, as christians we suffer... BUT:
Now I suppose the phrase "the cost of being free" isn't that ironic, now that I think about it. I guess if you were to only look at the surface structure of the sentence, cost and free seem to conflict. How can something that's free have a cost? The deep structure, however, brings about an obvious and very important realization: nothing is free. I did well on both of my exams (I think. I hope) and I'm now done, but it came with a high cost of stress and a week of shut-in-the-basement studying (for the most part). I was once a prisoner of psychology, but I've busted out man, Shawshank style. As I enjoyed my freedom on the way home, with the wind blowing through my hair and the stench of public transit occasionally wafting my way (which smells like b.o.), I decided to do my devotions.
My devotional book, which is absolutely amazing by the way, drew my attention to the book of Romans. The passage they cited was Romans 4:20-21. It was a nice testament to God's divine promises, and his assurance of their fulfillment, but my attention extended beyond the referenced verse and I continued to read. I had forgotten how free I was. Of course, not as completely free as I once might have thought. I wouldn't have it any other way, though. To be free of absolutely everything would be to be free from God as well; to be free from His divine promise, to be free from His undying love and abounding beauty. While we are free from sin, we are indeed still slaves to righteousness. Free will? Pfft, free will. Who needs it? Nowhere in the bible does it say that I have free will, but if it did, I'm sure I would rather be a slave to righetousness. "the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life." Holiness and eternal life? I get to walk with God for eternity. Sign me up, man... Sign me up.
Oh, the hidden fees of signing up. There's always that fine print. We are not made righteous at no cost. The ultimate price was paid, all for the ungodly, the lowly, the sinners. The impact of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, as if it wasn't strong enough already, is so much bigger when you consider who He died for. The King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Great High Priest, humiliated and seperated from God, all for us. A rough paraphrase from Romans explains that one would probably almost never die for a completely righteous person, and more than likely wouldn't even consider dying for a good person. Jesus died for the least of these. That's pretty huge stuff.
We don't get a free ride, though. Oh no. Complete and utter surrender of our lives to God is our price. And being a christian is by no means a way to make life easier. A while back, I overheard someone saying something along the lines of "she's a christian because it makes her life easier." This is a nice thought, and I only wish it were true. The fact is, christian living is probably one of the hardest things a person can do. Jesus talks alot about the persecution and hate that you will recieve for following him. All these things are pretty big prices to pay, but compared to Jesus Christ, there is no greater sacrifice. So I am gladly persecuted and hated on, I gladly surrender my entire life to God, and desire to do it each and every day that I live. I only wish I had the courage to do it so often. Indeed, as christians we suffer... BUT:
"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us" Romans 5:3.
I really wish I could share my joy in this realization with absolutely everybody, and a few in particular. I wish, to those that struggle, might find at least a little bit of hope. I wish these things with 100% of my being, everytime I'm feeling down and out and I get picked back up by God's grace. I wish I could give this hope and peace to someone else. This depresses me often, the fact that I might rejoice while another suffers. Other than blog in an attempt at sharing my joy, I guess all I can do is pray, and pray I will.
Now time for a little irony. I just finished an english exam. I don't know what on earth would posess me to sit down and type a lengthy blog after speedwriting essays and definitions for over an hour. I don't know what on earth would posess me to do this, because God is not of this world.
"And at the garden's edge beneath a speechless sky As his friends slept, Jesus wept - and it's no wonder why. You wanna be set free? You wanna set me free?! Well that can only come from a union with the One Who Never Dies." O, Porcupine
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I want babies.
Lots of them. Well, maybe just a few. I'll be happy to start with one... sometime in the future.
Anyways, this is the first time I've actually felt free enough to write a blog. It just so happens though, that I have absolutely nothing of worth to say.
In conclusion, this post is filler. Much like the filling in the pie I posted a picture of a few weeks ago.
Anyways, this is the first time I've actually felt free enough to write a blog. It just so happens though, that I have absolutely nothing of worth to say.
In conclusion, this post is filler. Much like the filling in the pie I posted a picture of a few weeks ago.
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