The Audacity of Superheroes.

Spiderman is just chilling in his humble home one day, eating pizza when he notices The Green Goblin whiz by his window. Without so much as a second thought, Spiderman breaks through his 7th story window and chases the villian in a hot pursuit. On the way, he gets caught in one of Batman's previously used zip lines and plummets towards the surface of the earth. The Incredible Hulk is sitting outside a Starbucks enjoying a Mocha Frappucino when he notices this. He bounds to Spiderman's rescue, crushing 2 cars in the process. With Spiderman nestled safely in his arms, The Hulk turns to his right and is startled to notice both the Silver Surfer and Johnny Blaze heading straight for him. Travelling at mach speeds, they chase each other around town breaking windows, destroying powerlines and setting newspaper stands on fire. Meanwhile, Superman is underground trying to stop a train from running over a suicidal jumper. He positions himself in front of the train and begins to brace himself as it nears. The train is suddenly jolted to a stop due to Superman's brute strength. The train is derailed and almost damaged beyond repair, but the suicidal jumper is alright. At the end of the line, Wolverine and Storm are having a heated dispute with Sabretooth and Avalanche. They all fight valiantly in an effort to prove some sort of point that both sides have probably already forgotten. In the midst of all this they destroy an entire subway station and injure a puppy. But it's all for the benefit of the city. Right?

Wrong! WHO IS PLANNING TO PAY FOR ALL OF THIS?!

Superheroes these days...They think they're invisible but don't give a second thought to their surroundings. Did it ever occur to any of these superheroes that the earth is not a playground? These are fully destructible environments man! This isn't some Perfect Dark video game. When you throw a grenade at a wall, it actually blows up! I've never once heard Spiderman offer to clean up any of the nasty webbing he leaves strewn about the city. The web he swings around on doesn't just disappear you know! Window cleaners are outraged at how many windows they need to replace because of Spiderman's stupid webs. Sure, Superman may have saved the world many-a-time with his laser eyes...But drywalling companies are fed up of replacing these walls everyday! Would it kill these so-called 'superheroes' to exercise a little bit of caution now and again? Frig Man. Who do they think pays for all of this? Taxpayers! Taxpayer's money is being poured into the restoration of the city at the fault of our modern day superheroes.

This is a message to all you inconsiderate superheroes out there: Try being a real hero someday! Clean up your mess!!!